an update

It's been a crazy difficult month!

Finishing up at work, which I am thankful for as it truly was one of the hardest places to work, so I am loving not having to go to work everyday with people that don't like me or appreciate the work I do. But saying goodbye to good friends was hard. I know they say you can keep in touch, but it's never the same. Am I right?

Then there was that trip to Cairns which I have always avoided doing. I left 20 years ago and I really thought I would never go back. But it was my 20 year high school reunion and I have 2 dear friends I miss a lot. I'm not sure if it's the shared history or the fact that they just 'get' me, but I've never really found anyone quite the same.

Cairns was wonderful, sort of. Conor came with me and we did the whole tourist thing. Which for us meant we drove a bunch of places and listened to music and took heaps of photos. We did on occasion stop for lunch or coffee but for the most part we hung out together. And we got along quite well.

Then there was the reunion! And I guess it was like every high school reunion everywhere.
Everyone was there...

• The hot guy that all the girls had a crush on.
• The guys from the football team that you were always slightly in awe of.
• The earnest girl who always wanted to be popular but never quite made it.
• The girls that were effortlessly popular and still are, because they are just genuinely nice.
• The girl that could look you up and down in high school and make you feel less, still could.
• The quiet guys that had found themselves and were confident men.
• The guy you should have married.
• The ones that had had a hard time and their stories broke your heart.
• The girls that looked askance at you because they didn't quite approve of you and probably still don't.

I had mixed feelings about going. I was excited to see some people and terrified to see others. I spent the first hour on my phone talking to friends on Messenger and asking my son to pick me up. But we all had a few drinks and it was a really fun night. And I'm happy I went.

For the rest of the trip, Conor and I continued our holiday, visiting all the attractions and taking so many photos, that I will share in a later blog post. And I was so happy I had handled the trip without upset, coped with all the memories and was relatively unscathed...
Tuesday saw us at the Lagoon on the Esplanade reading our books and waiting for our flight home and that's when it happened, all the emotions hit and I started crying. I didn't want to go!
I cried for nearly 3 weeks, I was a basket case.

So this month has been difficult, there have been some great highlights, the cruise, National Conference etc but mostly it has just been incredibly sad.
But I'm finding my way back and today I am listening to my son sand the beams for the patio and looking forward to finishing the renovations, going back to work and changing the world.